The Ten Worst iPod-Related Christmas Presents Ever

Dec 17th, 2006 | By | Category: Digital Music, iPod Accessories, iPods & Portable Media Players, Strange

This year, we’ve had the fortune and misfortune to see hundreds of new iPod-related gadgets, clothing and other accessories.

Some, like the microphones from companies like Belkin and Griffin, are something than any iPod user could use. Others, like the $180 uber-remote from Keyspan, Koyono’s iPod clothing or the expensive-but-cool tube iPod amp may not be essential, but are pretty sexy, nonetheless.

A lot of readers are probably getting and giving iPod-related Christmas presents this year. With this in mind, here’s a list of iPod accessories you may want to avoid.

And if you happen to get any of these under your tree, you have our condolences.

iPod Toilet Paper Dispenser

Here’s something that we thought we should flush out of our system right away – the iCarta toilet paper dispenser/iPod player. The last thing we want anyone doing in the Podcasting News bathroom is making a #$#@ playlist for using the toilet.
icarta pod toilet potty
iPod Panties

iGroove PantiesNext up are the iGroove iPod panties, made by Sexy Society. These are sexy panties that feature a built-in iPod pouch.

These might be the world’s greatest iPod panties, but who wants to open them or try them on in front of their family? Even worse, the incident could get captured on camera and end up on Flickr.

iPod Jeans

Equally annoying to receive would be Levi’s iPod jeans. These are like regular jeans, except that they feature built-in iPod support.

Levi's iPod jeans couple

Not too bad of an idea, but don’t even think about giving these as Christmas presents!

Instead of thinking that Levi’s iPod jeans are cool, the recipient will be angry that you spent $250…..and bought them a pair of #$%@ iPod jeans.

iPod Chairs

Another holiday no-no are the iPod chairs available at Pottery Barn and other stores.

iChair iPod chair
The iChair rocks your rear, but it’s also a massive, expensive accessory for a music gadget that will be out of date in a couple of years.

iPod Bras

Back to underwear….Guys, getting your significant other an iPod bra is a good way to ruin Christmas.

The iPod bra has been called “the single most important iPod accessory ever”, but it’s also potential disaster for your relationship.

ipod sports bra

If it’s the wrong size, things could get ugly. If it actually fits, she’ll think that you think she needs to exercise, and things could get ugly. If she loves it and people start staring at her because of that boxy lump between her breasts, things could get ugly.

Buying iPod accessories as presents can be like walking a mine field.

Think you’re safe if you avoid these five accessories in your Christmas shopping?

Think again….

Yes, we’re just getting started. Here are five more ways to ruin Christmas with iPod stuff:

The iDisguise

Another iPod accessory to avoid at Christmas is the fake Altoids iPod case:
ipod case idisguise

Sure – the case is kind of cool. But, give somebody a case like this and they will think that you not only made this in your basement on Christmas eve, but that you’re so cheap that you don’t even buy real Altoids.

iBoxers

iBoxerJust like the iPod bra and panties are probably no-no’s as Christmas gifts, the iBoxer should be off limits at the holidays.

The Play iBoxer is a cotton/spandex blend button fly boxer, with a discreet front pocket for holding an iPod, other mp3 players or your cell phone. As the manufacturer says, “Answering the call may take on a new meaning.”

Ladies – some guys may revel in the idea of frolicking under the Christmas tree in their underwear. Keep in mind, though, that that’s only the start of the day.

Do you really want your guy spending the rest of Christmas walking around playing air guitar with a noticeable crotch-bulge?

iLoad iPod Loader

iLoad with PuppyThe iLoad, a device that copies CDs to an iPod at high speed without using a computer or requiring an Internet connection, seemed like an interesting device at first. According to the company’s advertisements, it not only helps you load your iPod, it can help you get lucky.

But then we realized that anybody that has an iPod already uses their computer to load it with music……


iPod Breathalyzer

iBreath iPod breathalyzerThe iPod Breathalyzer is one of the most potentially dangerous iPod Christmas presents you could buy:

  • A). First of all, nothing says “I think you’re a lush” like buying someone an iPod Breathalyzer.
  • B). Second of all, the thing only goes up to .12 % blood alcohol levels, so the recipient will think that you think they are a lightweight.
  • C). Third, drinking one’s way through all 2hr 31min of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest could easily push the device to its limits, leaving the recipient of your gift looking either like:
    • A) a lush; or
    • B) a lightweight.


iPod Vibrator for Two

Our vote for the World’s Worst iPod-Related Christmas Gift goes to the iBuzz Two, an iPod vibrator that sports two vibrating attachments.

It’s hard to imagine when it would be appropriate to give someone a vibrator for two that sports a vibrating bunny attachment, but we’re pretty sure Christmas isn’t the time.
iBuzz Two vibrating iPod sex toy
As a Christmas gift, the iBuzz has multiple strikes against it:

  • First, the pink “rabbit stimulator” just ain’t right.
  • Second, if the pictures end up on Flickr, it will make the iPod panty pictures look pretty tame by comparison.
  • Third, if you can wear ear buds during sex, you’re probably not doing it right.

There are our picks for ten iPod accessories to avoid at Christmas. If we missed something, let us know in the comments!

No Responses to “The Ten Worst iPod-Related Christmas Presents Ever”

  1. neo says:

    Now all they need is the ipod kitchen appliances. Like the ipod video frying pan, “Now you’re cooking with Grease…the musical!”

  2. cb says:

    Would be nice if someone sold an ipod controller (for, say, $20-30) that could be sewn or velcrowed onto a sleave or whatever. $250 for jeans is pretty whak.

  3. I am in desperate need of a pair of iTongs to remove the iPod I rammed up my ass. It’s playing Abba on a loop, it’s driving me insane. I hope the battery dies soon.

  4. info says:

    Manuel

    For that you need an iMouse….

  5. […] The Ten Worst iPod-Related Christmas Presents EverPodcasting News – This year, we ve had the fortune and misfortune to see hundreds of new iPod-related gadgets, clothing and other accessories. Some, like the microphones from companies like Belkin and Griffin, are something than any iPod user could use. Others, like […]

  6. […] “A lot of people are getting and giving iPod-related Christmas presents this year. If you happen to get any of these under your tree, you have our condolences.”read more | digg story […]

  7. The market is officially saturated with lame iPod accessories. I wonder how many of these innovations are soon to be on the front page of patentlysilly.com?

  8. […] story No Comments so far Leave a comment RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI Leave a comment Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTMLallowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong> […]

  9. […] The Ten Worst iPod-Related Christmas Presents Ever Posted by James Filed in Apple […]

  10. Garth Barkeni says:

    Personally I think MP3 players are yesterday’s news, and the new news is custom, personalized music services. Like the stuff they’re doing at http://www.TailoredMusic.com

  11. vixenmama says:

    Oh, dear. Now I guess I’ll have to return that iBuzz I’d bought for your, um, stocking.

  12. axehole says:

    vixenmama

    You might consider keeping the iBuzz and using it when you wear your iPod bra. Then you could have breasts that vibrate musically.

    Me – I’m going back to the iPod toilet to work on my playlists….

  13. […] A lot of people are getting and giving iPod-related Christmas presents this year. If you happen to get any of these under your tree, you have our condolences.read more | digg story […]

  14. […] Della lista dei peggiori gadget per ipod sicuramente il vincitore non puo essere altro che iBuzz Two. […]

  15. […] Yes I know, these iPod accessories have been around for a while… but even for a Podcast Junky like me… well… I don’t think I’d ever put any of these onto my Santa or birthday list… […]

  16. […] Podcasting News has penned a list of the ten worst iPod gifts that you could possibly give to anyone this holiday season, and they are pretty bad. The iCarta, which I spotted first at last year’s Macworld, is first on the list and it gets worse from there. Also on the list are iPod panties, iPod jeans, and the iDisguise. […]

  17. […] Now, with the new markets Apple is enjoying with the ubiquitous iPod and now the iPhone, it looks like the same old story. Somewhere in some smoky boardroom, Steve is secretly meeting with the purveyors of craptastic, overpriced iPod and iPhone accessories and planning how they might lead the senseless hordes around by the nose and plunder their wallets in $19.95 increments. […]

  18. […] Last year, we warned you about the ten worst iPod-related Christmast presents ever, including: […]

  19. The All New free Zune downloads…

    I was just reading this free Zune downloads blog that actually shows you a live demo of the software running, very cool….

  20. leila walker says:

    wow i like the toilet thing it is kol wat about suten in a shower

  21. McKeeg says:

    I just want to know who is spending enough time on the john to get any sort of use out of the icrapper?.. I mean even on a bad day I might make it through two songs all day…… anyone who is buying this istuff is istupid, or itarded even. well that is just about inough of these bad ijokes. i out…

  22. ollie says:

    i relly like these ijokes and i find them reli ifunny so iwill keep ireading kk iout

  23. ollie says:

    the icrapper is iawesome everytime i go 4 an ishit i get igreat relaxing itune up my iass !!!

  24. Alix Kerr says:

    Wow, interesting list made even more interesting by your witty comments. I wonder how you found all of these things.
    You are a very good writer and I admire your skills.
    I hope that one day I will be as good of a blogger as you are.

    Good job!

  25. moshmekelly says:

    whoever thought up these ideas should be ipunished… iseverely.

  26. Najah Scott says:

    The whole thing about a ipod toilet paper dispenser is just nasty because why would you use the bathroom and litsen to your ipod at the same time that’s just unsanitary and why would you touch it if someone else was on the toliet at the time and touched it yall are SICK and whusup with the ipod panties and bras that’s nasty to espicaially the ipod panties because what if you dont wipe in that area and the ipod is down there thats just ewwww i can’t even say the word for all this whoever came up with these so called inventions are stupid and very very very very 1,000,000 times nasty, sick, and unsanitary. AND YES THIS IS A RUN ON SENTENCE.

  27. Jéquios says:

    Maybe the iDick would be a good Christmas gift instead of the iBuzz. It’s pratical and efficient. IT pulses to the vibe of the music. Possibly the best thing ever made.

  28. Jonus says:

    Why would you have head phones in while you’re having sex? Thats about as satisfying as reading a book while having sex…or sleeping. At least take out the buds and listen to it on an iHome or something. Honesty iPods are going out of style. Since it is such a popular trend, it’s only a matter of time before they are non-existant like the Pet Rock. That goes for Ugg boots and Crocs! Only a matter of time….just a little more time.

  29. sara says:

    thats stupid

  30. Dom says:

    they went a little overboard with the vibrator LMAO

  31. Moses says:

    Yea, wuts next, i-underwear, ipodhandsanitizer? I can’t even believe that someone would pay to have an ipod connected to their toilet paper!

    Are there such things as waterproof ipods?

  32. […] While Podcastingnews news has iBuzz at #1 in their list of the The Ten Worst iPod Accessories. […]

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